Shattered Dreams

After reading this article: http://thoughtcatalog.com/2013/how-to-dress-well-10-different-takes-on-androgyny/.

Well I grew up basically 10 years of my life in an all girls school. I had a crush on a girl for 3 years and didnt know what lesbianism was back than (innocent insert), btw I was in my primary 6 days.
During my secondary days I was so intrigue by the menswear section. I don’t know why I thought creating my own tomboyish style was cool. Chinese New Year clothes I’ll just drag my mum to get me some men cargo pants and some hoodie shirts. Ya back than I thought that’s cool! What can I say 90s style. And Hawaiian male board shorts plus a t-shirt! Haha that’s like androgyny style gone wrong. But however that’s how I just naturally thought menswear are way better than womenswear back than. And than at the age of 14ish 15, I’m into the punk era. Well you know music genre kindna follows the way ppl style themselves. So yup I was sad to say a huge fan of avril and start to take up skateboarding with my girlfriends. Skateboard keychains dangling on our wallet chains and three quarter shorts. long stripe socks with dc shoes and British flag t-shirt. During that phase, oh my mother she was worried that I may be lesbian. But guess what mum I was once but didnt get into a relationship.

When I got into Ite I thought oh its cool to be myself in short waxed hair with school uniform. The dudes thought I’m a lesbian. I was pissed with the assumptions they had base on my style. Gradually that phase was my metalcore and emo music genre era. I began to be more daredevil, pierced nose and two ear plugs which is a size of your pinky. Trust me, my mum got kindna bonkas when i finally grew my ear plugs that huge. In addition, foundation and eyeliner seems to be my everyday style. I was so in love with chuck converse and strip long socks. Hairstyle wise, I thought maybe I should explore a longer alternative. Life in Ite was never a place for me although I’ve made good friends. A place where narrow minded hooligans or hardworkers studies. No room for creativity and acknowledgement of interesting ideas. I’m labelled as a weirdo goth wannabe chick. But end of the day I won Merit Award for Ite building drafting you bitches! However without Ite I won’t found my passion in theatre. Whenever I was acting with my mates I found a sense of joy and happiness that kicks my soul so hard!

I joined LASALLE and gosh I felt just like home. A place where I finally belong! Creative mindset and passion like minded people. I just love the environments, besides the competition and late night slavery. This is the phase whereby I had a sexuality struggle when I was 21. Wondering am I a bisexual or not. Back than I was back to gaining attractions towards the same sex.
I thought maybe I should come in with the one sided short hair and long with red highlights and green strip. Oh my I didn’t know my classmates was afraid to talk to me they thought I’m some sort of ah lian. Haha that’s their first impression indeed. So my crazy hairstyle began, I’ll change my haircut either monthly or after three months. I’m known as the funky weird haircut girl in class. I start to listen the Beatles, hippy music but still metal as well. My development of music era changes as part of my life stages. It’s like a music pattern.
I remember this is when my style gets a little bit more feminine. When I was in foundation year I could recalled that, I was such a big fan of Pirates of the Caribbean that I’ll nickname myself as Pyrate Lonny and dress anything with sailor stripes and rag scarfs for two sem. Than I when onto more of a bohemian style, long flowy tie up pants with a tank top. Followed by long t-shirts and funky leggings. I never like pink orange yellow in my colour board. Most of them are mono colours. Either blue black white grey. Sometimes when I feel like Kat Von D or chic goth or bohemian punk I’ll just dress all black. There is still androgynous style deep in me. Believe it or not I still do buy boys clothes and shoes. This is to claim that I as a straight woman love androgynous style. Wink wink!